When I'm hanging out with my friends and family, there's always food around. It feels like it's a part of who we are. But I'm trying really hard to follow my meal plan so I can lose weight. And because of that, I often turn the food down when it's offered to me (which is not easy to do). Then, someone always asks me why I'm not eating. It bothers me when they ask me that and I actually feel a lot of anxiety about it. What do I say when they ask me why I'm not eating?
Thank you for the question. I'm glad you asked this question. And I'm glad you provided me a little insight into what you're thinking and feeling about this. I'm able to give you a better answer because of that.
The blunt, to-the-point answer to your question is a simple one. And it's this...
When people ask you whey you're not eating, tell them the truth.
Tell them you're not hungry, if you're not hungry in that moment.
Tell them you don't want to eat, if you don't want to eat in that moment.
Tell them you ate before you arrived, if that's true for you.
Whatever the truth is, that's what you tell them.
And even though the actual answer to your question is simple, what's going on inside of you is what I'd like to talk about the most. Why? Because that's what's really causing you to feel anxiety.
I've got 3 things for you to consider that will dramatically shift how you're feeling.
Number 1: Other People And What They Say To You
You may not like this one. You may want to fight me on it. And you may choose not to believe me. But...
The things other people DO and SAY are completely neutral.
When someone asks you why you're not eating, that's neutral.
If someone rolls their eyes at you when you tell them you're not hungry, that's neutral.
If someone makes you a plate of food and brings it to you, with silverware and all, that's neutral.
The question is, what are you making it mean about you?
Number 2: Where Anxiety Comes From
They are responsible for their feelings. And you are responsible for your feelings.
So, when you feel anxiety, it's not because of them. It's not because of the things they DO and SAY. No. You're anxiety comes solely from your thoughts.
Now, your thoughts may be about what they say or what they do. Those are your opinions, your judgements. But you are the only one with the power over your own emotional life.
So, again, the question is, what are you making it mean about you when they ask you why you're not eating?
The answer to that question, is the answer to why you're feeling anxiety in these moments.
Number 3: What Could Happen
If you could wave a magic wand and instantly feel differently about the things other people DO and SAY, what exactly would you want to feel?
And if you could get yourself to the place of feeling curious, what would that look like?
Maybe a friend or family member would ask you why you're not eating. And you'd think, "It's interesting they'd ask me that. I wonder why they're asking me that."
Then, you'd feel curious.
And you'd probably respond by asking them some non-judgmental questions and answering their question truthfully in that moment.
If you did that, what do you think could happen?
Maybe you'd inspire them to take a look at their own eating habits.
Maybe they'd become interested in what you're doing to lose weight.
If you respond with curiosity, this one little conversation may be exactly what they need and want to kickstart a change in their own lives.
You just never know what could happen.
When someone asks you why you're not eating, just answer them truthfully. Whatever that truth is for you in that moment.
Challenge yourself to stay curious in these moments. Because you never know what could happen.
Thanks again for your question. I hope my answer helps you.
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