Listen to this podcast episode if you think you need more motivation to lose weight. I think you'll be surprised by what you hear. And it just might be exactly what's missing for you to see success with your weight loss goals.
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Read the full episode transcript below:
Welcome to the Weight Loss Before and After Pregnancy Podcast. The place you’ll get simple strategies you can apply to your life today to start losing weight. Strategies that’ll help you reach your goal, move on with your life, and focus on the things that matter most to you. I’m your host, Certified Life and Weight Coach, Andrea Scalici. Let’s get started.
Hey everybody. Welcome to episode 13. And welcome to the new year, 2021. I don’t know about you but I’m very happy 2020 is over and I’m looking forward to this year. There’s still many unknowns for all of us this year but I’m optimistic it’ll be a better year than last year. I hope you are too.
Ok. Today, as we dip our toes into the new year, we’re going to talk about weight loss motivation. Because I know many of you have created a New Year’s Resolution focused on weight loss or you’re just thinking a lot about it right now. And motivation, or lack of motivation, tends to be on many people’s minds. So, let’s talk about it.
The first thing I’m going to say, which may be a bold statement, and it might surprise you, is many people think they need more motivation to lose weight but they don’t. They say to me, “I’m just not motivated enough. How do I get more motivation?”
And to that, I say, that’s the wrong question to be asking. It’s not a helpful question for you. Let me explain what I mean.
When motivation is your true, authentic emotion, it feels amazing. You feel unstoppable. You feel like you can do anything or accomplish any goal you have. It’s almost like a fire has been lit inside of you.
But when motivation is not your true, authentic emotion in the moment, but you’re trying to create it, it might feel like you’re resisting or fighting whatever true emotion you have in that moment, which is not motivation.
Let’s say you see a cookie and you really want to eat it. Maybe your true emotion in that moment, the moment you see the cookie, is desire for the cookie in front of you. Or maybe you feel frustrated or deprived because you feel like you can’t have it. And maybe you think the best way to handle these feelings is to generate motivation instead but it doesn’t feel aligned or authentic with what you’re really feeling.
Think about willpower for a minute and why it doesn’t work for us. Willpower is when we resist or fight our true emotions. We feel desire, or want, or need for a certain food, like a cookie. That desire is strong inside of us. And we try to fight or resist that desire by using willpower. But since the desire is our true, authentic emotion for the cookie in that moment, and we’re fighting it with willpower, which doesn’t feel true or authentic to us, it doesn’t usually last long. It makes us tired. It makes us feel defeated. And we usually give up and give into the desire we truly feel for the cookie by eating it.
So, willpower and motivation are similar if you’re using them to resist or fight your true, authentic emotion in the moment. And the result is usually the same. You get tired and feel defeated and give up and give in to the desire you truly feel for the cookie by eating it.
Now, you might be thinking, “Ok, so what do I do? I still want to lose weight this year and I don’t want to use willpower or this fake motivation to do it. So, what do I do?”
First, I want to remind you of something we’ve talked about before on this podcast. It might not be a new concept for you but it’s one of the most important things you can remember while you’re losing weight.
And here it is.
Your thoughts create your emotions.
Your emotions fuel your actions.
And your actions give you your results.
Motivation is an emotion that’s created by your thoughts and fuels your actions or inactions and ultimately gives you your results.
If you want to create more motivation; true, authentic motivation, you have to intentionally think true, authentic thoughts that produce the feeling you want.
This means if you see a cookie, and you desire that cookie, you want it, you need it, you’ve just got to have it; acknowledge that desire. Accept it. Feel it. But don’t let it affect what you do. Don’t let it be the reason you eat the cookie if it’s not on your plan.
In that moment, if you’re aware of the desire you’re feeling for the cookie, you can process the feeling of desire inside of you, without giving in and eating the thing in front of you. Then, once that desire is processed, not resisted or fought, but processed, you can intentionally think thoughts that produce motivation inside of you, if that’s what you’re going for.
Thoughts like, “I’m so proud of myself for not eating that cookie. I’m so proud of myself for sticking to my plan, not giving into my short term desire, and honoring my long term goal to lose my weight. I’m going to keep honoring my long term goal because it feels so good.”
Now, I want to remind you that it’s impossible to feel motivated all the time. We are not meant to feel one emotion for our entire lives. We’re meant to feel a wide range of emotions.
Imagine with me for a minute that you’re looking at a piece of paper. And on that piece of paper is a horizontal line from left to right. In the middle are all the neutral emotions we might feel throughout our lives. On the left are all the negative emotions we feel. And on the right are all the positive emotions we feel.
Throughout our day, our week, our month, our year, just all our time on this planet, our emotions will go up and down that horizontal line.
We might feel sad one minute because of what we’re thinking. And we might feel happy another minute because of what we’re thinking. We might feel desire for something, like a cookie, or motivation, or apathy, or frustration, or anxiety. All of this is completely normal.
I like to think of it like fifty-fifty, which is a concept my Coach and Mentor taught me. Life is going to be fifty percent positive and fifty percent negative. We’re going to feel it all. The full range of emotions.
Now, all of us might experience it a bit differently. Like some people may feel a huge range of emotion in a short period of time, super high highs and super low lows. Other people may feel emotions on a more even, balanced level. And some people may not feel the emotional ranges frequently at all. There’s no one way to be a human being.
The main thing is to accept that life will be 50/50 for you, for us all. Accept that thoughts create emotions. Accept and process your true emotions. And learn how to authentically generate emotions you want, like motivation, by focusing on generating true thoughts for yourself that produce the emotion you want.
Let me say it a little bit differently in case that was confusing.
If you want to create more true weight loss motivation for yourself, you have to accept your true emotions, process them, and think and really believe thoughts that create more true weight loss motivation for you.
Maybe that sounds hard to you. Or maybe that sounds easy to you. I don’t know. But what I do know, is all of us have the ability to do this. We all have the ability to create more weight loss motivation for ourselves.
But I don’t want to leave things there because I want to tell you something else that I’ve discovered during my own weight loss journey and working with clients. And this might be another thing that surprises you.
Ok. Here it is.
Motivation is not the most important emotion you can create for yourself when you’re trying to lose weight.
If you’re totally shocked and confused by what I just said, let me say it again. Motivation is not the most important emotion you can create for yourself when you’re trying to lose weight. That’s a big statement, I know.
The best, most important emotions you can create for yourself during the weight loss process include willingness, that’s a big one, curiosity, openness, authenticity, and acceptance.
Think about it like this. If a salad is on your meal plan for lunch today, but you’d rather eat a sandwich or something else, your level of willingness to eat your salad and stick to your plan will determine what you decide to do. Your level of willingness to feel disappointed about eating the salad instead of the sandwich is everything.
The emotion of willingness feels more even, more balanced, more neutral, and less sexy than motivation does. It feels like it falls in the middle of that horizontal line, instead of on the negative or positive ends. And that’s what you want in those moments when you’re deciding whether or not to stick to your plan.
You definitely want to acknowledge, accept, and process the desire or disappointment you feel. But again, you don’t want to take action from that place. Instead, once those feelings are processed, you want to produce something like willingness inside of you.
It’s not sexy. It’s not high energy. It’s not a high emotion. But it will keep you on plan without using willpower or fake motivation.
If you think about our horizontal line, where neutral emotions are in the middle, negative emotions are on the left, and positive are on the right, willpower is usually a negative emotion because you’re using it to resist or fight your true emotion in the moment, which doesn’t feel good. But motivation can really go on either end.
If it’s true, authentic motivation that you feel, it feels really positive and amazing. It feels like that fire has been lit inside of you.
But if it’s fake motivation that has you resisting or fighting your true emotions in that moment, it feels really negative and terrible. It feels misaligned with what’s happening for you. So, just keep that in mind, and never try to force yourself to feel motivation for losing weight.
Instead, consider willingness, curiosity, openness, authenticity, and acceptance.
Alright. That’s it for now. I’ll talk to you in the next episode.
If you loved this podcast, I want to invite you to check out The 6 Stages Weight Loss Program. It’s my signature program that’ll teach you everything you need to know from start to finish to lose weight, reach your goal, and maintain it once you’re there. You’ll also learn how to have your own back through the process. Join me over at mcccoaching.com/join. I’ll see you there.
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