Why do you want to lose weight? Getting as clear as you can with your reasons for going after your goal will help you when things get tough. One of the things you can do to get clear is write a letter to the person or people who influence your reasons for wanting to lose weight. Listen to this episode to learn more about how to do this. And grab some tissues as I read you the letter I wrote to the people who are my reasons...my sons.
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Read the full episode transcript below:
Welcome to the Weight Loss Before and After Pregnancy Podcast. The place you’ll get simple strategies you can apply to your life today to start losing weight. Strategies that’ll help you reach your goal, move on with your life, and focus on the things that matter most to you. I’m your host, Certified Life and Weight Coach, Andrea Scalici. Let’s get started.
Hey everybody. Welcome to episode 15.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what my life was like a few years ago at the time I started to really get serious about losing my weight. What I was thinking, what I was feeling, what I was doing, and how I just knew that this would be the last time I’d have to start a new weight loss program.
Unless I got pregnant again, which I did. As you know, I’m in my sixth month of pregnancy right now. So, after I have my baby this year, after I breastfeed, and after my doctor gives me the ok, I will start the process of losing weight again. But, this time will be much easier, because I already know exactly what program I’ll use and how I’ll do it. My program.
But anyways, back to what I was saying.
So, I’ve been thinking a lot about where I was before I lost my weight. And it may be where you are right now.
One of the things many experts will tell you to do before you start any new goal, including a weight loss goal, is to come up with your why. Your purpose. Your big, important reason for wanting to achieve your goal.
I definitely agree with this because when things get tough while you’re in the process of achieving your goal, you can turn to your why, your purpose, your big, important reason and remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing.
I mean, think about this for a minute. I’ll use myself as an example. There’s basically three different situations I might be in.
First. When I’m living my life, and not actively working towards a big goal, and I don’t want to work on a big goal, I feel pretty comfortable, maybe a little calm. I feel like I’m living on default, on autopilot, in a good way. Things tend to feel the same everyday. You know what I mean?
Second. When I’m living my life, and not actively working towards a big goal, but I want to work on something, I feel pretty comfortable and still on autopilot most of the time. But I also feel disappointed and let down by myself for not taking actions to get what I want.
And third. When I’m living my life, and I am actively working towards a big goal, when I’m in it, in the nitty gritty of it, I feel uncomfortable, scared, uneasy, and maybe even a little confused about what the heck I’m doing. Like, why I’m actively putting myself in this situation where I feel uncomfortable and just weird sometimes.
So, I guess the first question to ask yourself is, “Do you want to work on a goal right now?”
If you don’t, then you can go back to feeling comfortable and calm.
If you do, then you have a decision to make. You can decide to not go for your goal and maybe feel terrible about that or like you’re letting yourself down. Or you can decide to go for your goal and maybe still feel terrible and uncomfortable, but be on your way to achieving something you want to achieve.
I personally think it feels way better to go for a goal, and feel uncomfortable and terrible going for that goal, than it does to wish I was taking action but not actually doing anything. Wishing I was doing something, but actually doing nothing, is a place I don’t want to be. That place makes me feel stuck and I don’t know about you, but I hate feeling stuck. It’s like a pet-peeve of mine because I felt that way for years.
I guess my point here is this. If you have a goal, you can decide to do nothing, wish you were doing something, and feel disappointed with yourself about that. Or you can decide to do something, feel uncomfortable along the way, but actually get yourself to that goal at some point in the future.
For a long time, I was stuck in the place of wanting to do something about my weight, but not taking action to do it. And that was the worst.
But when I opened up to the discomfort I’d feel as I was working towards my goal, it felt a lot better to me than to be sitting in the discomfort and doing nothing.
With that said, after I made the decision to really get serious about my weight, one of the things I did was think about my why. And of course, at that time, this was a few years ago, I had one son. My son was a big factor in me wanting to lose my weight.
I wanted to be a good role model for him. I wanted to be active in his life as he grew up. I wanted to be my best self so he could have a Mom, an authentic Mom, who showed him what living your best life looked like.
At that time, one of the things I did as I was getting started with losing my weight, was write a letter to my son. I didn’t read it to him. I never planned to show him. I just wrote the letter to him, and kept it just for me. And in the letter, I told him all the reasons why I was serious this time about losing my weight.
I have to tell you, I was very hesitant to do this at first, before I wrote the letter. I thought this was a weird thing to do and it felt strange. But I did it anyways. And I’m so glad I did because writing this letter helped me really discover my own reasons why I wanted to lose weight. It helped me get super deep with myself, deeper than I’d ever gotten before.
I definitely cried a lot as I was writing this letter and afterwards every time I read it. But it was worth it. And I re-read that letter as often as I needed to during the entire weight loss process which was very motivational for me.
Well, now that I’m expecting my second child, another son, and I’ll be going through the weight loss process again in the future, after he’s born, I thought this was a perfect time to write another letter.
I’m going to read you my letter to my two sons, even though I’m feeling extremely vulnerable, a little scared, and I’ll probably cry as I read it. My hope is, by reading this to you, you see the value in writing a letter like this.
You can write yours to your kids, your spouse, your Mom or Dad, your best friend, your pet, yourself, just anyone in your life who signifies your big why. I really hope you do this for yourself because it’s so worth it.
Ok. So, here’s my letter to my two sons. Like I said, I’ll probably cry, but here we go.
You are my two favorite people in the entire world, right alongside your Daddy.
I think about you and I feel so many things, but most of all deep, unconditional love.
Got to get the tissues already. Hold on.
As you grow up, I know we won’t always see eye-to-eye, but I’m totally in and looking forward to all of it. The good, the bad, and anything else that comes our way.
As I write this letter, oh, again, hold on, tissue. As I write this letter, Enzo just turned 4-years old and you, my second son who doesn’t yet have a name, are inside my belly and have been for almost six months.
I want you to know something about me.
In my past, I’ve struggled with my weight, which has affected my life in ways I don’t like. But I overcame that struggle in a way that feels really good to me.
Once you're born, my second beautiful son, and after my doctor gives me the ok, I plan to lose my weight again. This time, it’ll be for the very last time.
I know it won’t be easy. I know it won’t be smooth. But I’m going to do this for us. For both of you, for your Daddy, and for myself.
And after I do, we’re going to go on lots of fun trips and adventures together. Some of them I’ve already planned out in my head. I know we can go on these adventures together no matter what, like whether or not I lose my weight, but I also know that I’ll have a lot more energy on these fun trips after I’ve lost my weight. So, that’s what I plan to do.
I’m going to have lots of energy to play with you, to teach you things, to take you places, to go outside of my comfort zone and try new things. I’m going to fit in all my old clothes again and feel proud of myself every single day. I think you’ll be proud of me, too.
I’m going to show you what it means to feel like yourself, to feel authentic, to feel free. I’m going to show you what you can achieve with focus and dedication and willingness to honor yourself and your decisions. And I’m going to show you what emotional balance really looks like. That sometimes you’ll feel amazing, sometimes you won’t, and sometimes you’ll feel just ehhhh. And all of it is ok. It’s all a part of life.
But most of all, my loves, I’m going to lose my weight for the last time so I can do everything within my power to live a long, healthy life with you, your Daddy, and myself. Because we have so much to accomplish together. So much to do.
Then, someday, maybe, just maybe, I’ll continue living my long, healthy life playing with my Grandkids. No pressure though. But yea, Grandkids would be great if it works out that way.
So, loves of my life, I just wanted you to know all of this so you can be ready for what’s to come. A healthy Mommy. Both physically and emotionally. A Mommy who’s there for you, who actively engages with you, who loves herself and her family more than anything else in the entire world.
Lots of fun times ahead for us.
I love you both with all my heart.
Phewwww! That was tough to read out loud. But I did it. See, we can do things that feel sad, uncomfortable, vulnerable, and just plain hard. And we will survive.
Writing this letter wasn’t easy but it was so worth it for me. Now, as I prepare myself for childbirth, breastfeeding, and getting no sleep for a while, I will also be preparing my mind to lose my weight for the last time when my body is ready for that. And when my body is ready, and I take myself through my own program to lose my weight for the last time, I’ll have this letter to re-read to myself as often as I need to. This letter will continue to remind me why I’m doing what I’m doing. It’ll help me visualize. And it’ll help me to keep going, especially on those days when things get tough.
Now, I want to encourage you to write your own letter. My letter is to my kids but yours might not be. Write your letter to the person or people in your life who represent your reason or reasons for wanting to lose your weight. Maybe it is your kids or your future kids. Or maybe it’s your spouse, your Mom or Dad, your best friend, your pet, your boss, I don’t know. Or maybe it’s yourself. Maybe you want to do this just for you. I really hope you consider writing this letter for yourself because it’s so worth it.
Alright. That’s it for now. I’ll talk to you in the next episode.
If you loved this podcast, I want to invite you to check out The 6 Stages Weight Loss Program. It’s my signature program that’ll teach you everything you need to know from start to finish to lose weight, reach your goal, and maintain it once you’re there. You’ll also learn how to have your own back through the process. Join me over at mcccoaching.com/join. I’ll see you there.
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