[PODCAST EPISODE 29] Top 5 Ways To Lose "The Mom Weight"Apr 29, 2021
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About the show:
Listen to this episode to learn the top five ways to lose "The Mom Weight." Which I define as the extra weight from carrying your baby PLUS the extra weight from eating more than usual because of all the out of control emotions you feel as a mom. Yea, you know what I'm talking about. And you can lose this weight once you learn these five things.
Resources from the show:
- Learn more about The 6 Stages Weight Loss Program
Read the full episode transcript below:
Welcome to the Weight Loss Before and After Pregnancy Podcast. The place you’ll get simple strategies you can apply to your life today to start losing weight. Strategies that’ll help you reach your goal, move on with your life, and focus on the things that matter most to you. I’m your host, Certified Life and Weight Coach, Andrea Scalici. Let’s get started.
Hey everybody. Welcome to episode 29.
I’m just a few weeks away from having my baby. He’s due on May 13th. And I’m still having trouble breathing. And I probably will feel like this until he’s born. But I’m here, rocking and rolling, so let’s just dive right into this one.
Today we’re going to talk about how to lose “The Mom Weight.” And I’m going to give you the top five ways to make that happen.
Now, when you hear me say the words “The Mom Weight,” what comes to your mind? I’m sure we all define this a little differently. So, let me first tell you how I define it.
To me, “The Mom Weight” is the extra weight we have on our bodies from carrying our baby or babies PLUS the extra weight from eating more than usual because of all the out of control emotions we feel as moms.
That’s how I define it. And that’s how we’ll approach the top five solutions in this episode.
Alright. Let’s do this. Let’s start with the first way to lose “The Mom Weight.”
Number one. Balance your thoughts.
Let’s be real. We all have negative thoughts sometimes and positive thoughts other times. This is completely normal. And most of our thoughts are unconscious in our minds, which is a good thing. But our thoughts are part of what drives us to take action in our lives. Our thoughts are part of what drives us into the kitchen pantry to eat food when we aren’t really hungry.
Here’s a few examples of thoughts that might lead us into the kitchen.
“I can’t handle this."
“I don’t understand why my kids aren’t listening to me.”
“I don’t know how to get my kids to do whatever I want them to do.”
“I do so much for them and they don’t appreciate me.”
“I don’t take care of myself anymore.”
“I can’t do what I want to do.”
“My time isn’t my own.”
“I deserve to eat that."
“It’s been a long day.”
And “I just need to eat a little something to take the edge off.”
Those are all examples of thoughts we might think as moms, possibly on a daily basis, that might lead us into the kitchen pantry for food when we aren’t really hungry.
This can happen with negative thoughts and positive thoughts. But more often than not, I see it happening with the thoughts we’d consider as negative.
And like I said before, most of our thinking is unconscious in our minds, which is a good thing. Except when it’s leading us to do something we don’t want to do. Like when we feel like we’re eating against our own will.
So it’s really important to bring thoughts like these into our awareness. We need to first know that we’re thinking them. And then we can balance them out. Meaning, have a goal of thinking quote-un-quote negative thoughts fifty-percent of the time and thinking quote-un-quote positive thoughts fifty-percent of the time. As long as the positive thoughts are ones you actually believe in the moment. Not some affirmation or mantra that you’re trying to force yourself to believe.
Ok. So the first way to lose “The Mom Weight” is to balance your thoughts.
Number two. Balance your emotions.
Each and every thought you have creates an emotion inside of you. Which means, if you’re thinking any of the example thoughts I went through, you might then feel mad, sad, disappointed, confused, stressed, overwhelmed, unsure, uncertain, unsettled, annoyed, frustrated, angry, or anything else.
And if our goal is to think thoughts that are negative fifty-percent of the time and positive fifty-percent of the time, then naturally, we will start to feel our emotions as fifty-fifty as well. This is the goal. This is human.
Now, some people will hear this and want to feel happy, positive emotions more than fifty-percent of the time. And I get that. And sometimes you probably will. It won’t be a perfect balance of fifty-fifty. But, and I don’t know about you, but for me, I feel a wave of calm come over me when I hear that the goal is fifty-fifty.
I used to constantly say to myself, “I just want to be happy.” And I actually used to say this out loud to other people too, like my husband. “I just want to be happy.”
On the surface, this sounds like a nice thought, a nice goal. But every time I thought it or said it, it made me feel terrible. Because the inherent message in there is that I want to be happy, but I’m not, and I don’t know how to get to happy.
So, me saying I just wanted to be happy, and thinking it, and striving for it, made me actually feel worse. And when I changed my goal to fifty-fifty, I felt an immediate calm, relaxed sensation because it felt so much more doable. You know what I mean? So much more human. And I thought to myself, “I can really do this. I can get to fifty-fifty everyday.”
Ironically, when my goal became focused on this balance of emotions, I actually started feeling more positive, more often.
Ok. So the first way to lose “The Mom Weight” is to balance your thoughts. The second way is to balance your emotions.
The third way, which we’ll talk about now, is to start taking conscious action and inaction. And here’s what I mean by that.
When you think a thought in your mind, it creates an emotion in your body, which then fuels you to take action or not take action to do something. This is how it works. This is why you’re walking into the kitchen to eat when you’re not really hungry. This is why you do anything that you do. And why you don’t do things that you want to start doing.
There’s a thought. A feeling. And an action or inaction.
So, when your thoughts are unconscious, and your feelings are unconscious, then your actions might be too. This is like when you’re eating food and it feels like it’s against your own will. Or you don’t realize you’ve eaten something until it’s gone. Or you are currently eating something and you don’t really know what you’re doing. It’s like a fog. Like a cloud inside of you.
But you can actually make this better. And it all starts with what we already talked about. Balancing your thoughts and your emotions.
When you’re thinking and feeling fifty-percent negative and fifty-percent positive, it makes it easier for you to take conscious action and inaction when it comes to eating food.
For example, you might have a thought like, “It’s been a long day and I deserve to eat that.” Then, you might feel entitled to eat the food, whatever you’re thinking about eating. Then, you might walk into the kitchen, get the food out, and start eating it.
But, and this is really important, so hear me on this, the action you take to walk into the kitchen, get the food out, and start eating it, is something within your control if you are conscious and aware of what you’re thinking and feeling in that moment.
It is also within your control to think something like, “It’s been a long day and I deserve to eat that.” And it is also within your control to feel entitled to eat the food. But we’re not going to focus on changing your thoughts and emotions in this episode. In this example, and I’ll leave it at this for now, you think a thought, you feel an emotion, and you have the capability to control your action if you are aware of what’s happening.
It might not feel good to pass up the opportunity to eat the thing you want to eat. And that’s ok. Remember, our goal is not to feel amazing all the time. Because that’s just not possible. Our goal is fifty-fifty. And part of that time when we feel entitled or exhausted or bad for whatever reason, we just need to let ourselves feel that way, instead of reaching for the food to try to make us feel better.
The food can make us feel better for a short period of time. But you know that never lasts. So, I recommend you just feel that emotion upfront, don’t eat the thing you want to eat, and move on with your day or night. You’ll be proud of yourself afterwards for doing it, even though it was hard.
Ok. The first way to lose “The Mom Weight” is to balance your thoughts. The second way is to balance your emotions. The third way is to take conscious action and inaction.
Now, let’s talk about the fourth way. Taking ownership over your results.
This is a big one. And it might be difficult to do if you’re used to blaming other people for things in your life. Which definitely used to be me, so I get it. But blaming other people for your results, for the things that happen in your life, for your weight or eating habits, is not helpful to you and it will not get you to your goals.
So, start by taking ownership over your thoughts. Both the conscious and unconscious ones. Then, take ownership over your emotional life. Then, take ownership over your actions and inactions. Don’t blame anyone else for the things you do or don’t do. Then, and this is when it gets really good, take ownership over your results.
This may be hard to hear but your kids are not the reason you are stressed or overwhelmed or frustrated. Even if they yelled and screamed at you, or always take the opposite point of view than you, or never listen to you, or tell you they hate you. Which probably isn’t really true anyways. Even if your kids do all of these things, they are not the reason you feel how you do or why you have “The Mom Weight.”
Your husband or partner is not the reason either. Even if he or she yells at you, doesn’t listen to you, doesn’t take the trash out or do the dishes. They are not not the reason you feel how you do or why you have “The Mom Weight.”
And this applies to everyone else in your life. Everything else in your life. All of the things outside of you are your circumstances. They don’t produce your results. Only you do that.
So, take ownership over your results. Take ownership over your weight loss goals. Take ownership over you and what you can do, because you can do a lot more than you think you can. Including lose the weight you want to lose and keep it off long term.
Remember, thoughts cause emotions. Emotions fuel actions or inactions. Which create your results. You have complete control over all of these things in your life. Spend your time working on them so you can create the life you want. You are capable of this.
Ok. The first way to lose “The Mom Weight” is to balance your thoughts. The second way is to balance your emotions. The third way is to take conscious action and inaction. And the fourth way is to take ownership over your results.
Now, the last way we’ll talk about, number five. And this is probably the one you’re most comfortable with. The one you hear about the most in the weight loss community. Number five is to make some external, environmental type changes in your life.
It’s like, when you want to lose weight, serve yourself food on smaller plates and with smaller utensils. Put your fork or spoon down in between bites. Don’t keep junk food in the house or if you do, move it to a cabinet that isn’t the one you go into all the time. Don’t spend time in the kitchen unless you’re cooking or productive in some way.
There are endless ways you can sort of manipulate your environment to make weight loss easier. And I’m all for that, as one of the solutions, but not as the main solution. So, don’t focus all your time and energy here, because it’s not going to give you the results you want as well as the other four ways we talked about today. It is important, it’s just not the number one, most important thing that you can do.
So, that’s it. If you want to lose “The Mom Weight,” balance your thoughts, balance your emotions, take conscious action and inaction, take ownership over your results, and make some external, environmental type changes in your life.
This is exactly how you do it. And if you need a little help with this, go back to episode number six titled Losing Weight: Step 5. Listen to that episode and take notes. It’ll teach you exactly how to coach yourself, which will help you with all of the steps we talked about today.
Now, if you’re going to try this, everything we talked about today, make sure you give yourself time and space to practice it. You won’t be amazing at all of this the first time you do it. And you might feel frustrated. But stick with it. You are capable of doing every single of these things we talked about today. And they’re exactly what you need to do to lose “The Mom Weight.”
If you want even more support with this, join The 6 Stages Weight Loss Program. It will guide you through this process step-by-step and help you get to your goal. Keep listening to the end of this podcast to find out how to join my program. Thanks for listening, everybody. And I’ll talk to you next week.
If you loved this podcast, I want to invite you to check out The 6 Stages Weight Loss Program. It’s my signature program that’ll teach you everything you need to know from start to finish to lose weight, reach your goal, and maintain it once you’re there. You’ll also learn how to have your own back through the process. Join me over at mcccoaching.com/join. I’ll see you there.